First America Holiday (11)
With that in mind, we talked over all of our concerns. I told him that if it did in fact get too hard to be apart, that I would choose
to end things, rather than continue being miserable. I wanted him to understand that as hard as it would be to say good-bye forever,
it would be much harder to be apart. I didn't want it to happen that way, but I was preparing us both for the very real chance that
this very well could end. I wanted him to know that I had no regrets over anything. And from the bottom of my heart enjoyed
everything about our relationship, from the first time we spoke on-line through this very moment. It wasn't a pleasant conversation
to have, but I'm glad we had it. It would make it a little easier saying good-bye tomorrow at the airport knowing that I had told him
exactly how I felt.
Marco told me that he would like to come back here for Christmas. But he would have to check with his work to make sure he
could get the time free. I guess deep down I knew that wouldn't happen, but I was gonna hang onto the hope anyway. When we had
both said everything that needed to be said, we decided to make the most of our last night together. But first we had to go to my
sister's house so he could say good-bye to everyone. Tyler was already sleeping, so Marco left him a note, which I thought was
really sweet. Afterwards, we bought some wine, some dinner, and went back to my house to spend our last night together. It really
was wonderful, but I had tears in my eyes as I fell asleep in his arms.
We left my house around 7:00am which I thought was a good time. Of course I never even considered the fact that we would be
traveling through the middle of downtown St. Louis during morning rush hour. So getting into Illinois, which would normally have
taken about 30 minutes, had this morning, taken us about an hour and a half. That's ok though, it just meant we had a little less time
to spend at Jennifer's house. We should have been to her house by 10:00am, however, we arrived at about 1:00pm. We ran into two
more sets of problems along the way. At one point there was a bad accident that brought traffic to a stand still. And a little further
down, the road was flooded. Of course, why wouldn't it have been flooded? After all we were traveling on it. Geesh!
We only stayed at Jenn's long enough for one cigarette and then had to quickly leave again to get to the airport in plenty of time
for him to check in. We had a nice time during this drive. We were quiet a lot of the time though, mostly thinking about everything
that had happened during his visit. By the time we got there, he only had about 30 minutes before he had to be at his gate. We went
outside and smoked a cigarette or two, all the while barely speaking. It was one of those times that if I spoke I would cry. So it was
easier just to stay quiet.
I wanted to wait about 15 more minutes before walking to the International check-in, but you know how prompt Marco is. If I had
made him wait he would have had an anxiety attack. I could tell he was already nervous about the thought of possibly not being
there on time. So as much as I didn't want to, I asked him if he just wanted to go ahead and go. He quietly said, "Yes, I think I
must." My tears didn't start falling until he gave me a hug and kiss good-bye. This was set up differently than the airport in Holland,
I couldn't walk up to the counter with him like he had done with me. So once we said our good-byes, I just stood there in the
distance watching him move through the line. After he got through, he turned around one time, smiled at me, and waved good-bye,
then walked away. I watched until I couldn't see him anymore, then left for my long, sad ride home. Continue
to end things, rather than continue being miserable. I wanted him to understand that as hard as it would be to say good-bye forever,
it would be much harder to be apart. I didn't want it to happen that way, but I was preparing us both for the very real chance that
this very well could end. I wanted him to know that I had no regrets over anything. And from the bottom of my heart enjoyed
everything about our relationship, from the first time we spoke on-line through this very moment. It wasn't a pleasant conversation
to have, but I'm glad we had it. It would make it a little easier saying good-bye tomorrow at the airport knowing that I had told him
exactly how I felt.
Marco told me that he would like to come back here for Christmas. But he would have to check with his work to make sure he
could get the time free. I guess deep down I knew that wouldn't happen, but I was gonna hang onto the hope anyway. When we had
both said everything that needed to be said, we decided to make the most of our last night together. But first we had to go to my
sister's house so he could say good-bye to everyone. Tyler was already sleeping, so Marco left him a note, which I thought was
really sweet. Afterwards, we bought some wine, some dinner, and went back to my house to spend our last night together. It really
was wonderful, but I had tears in my eyes as I fell asleep in his arms.
We left my house around 7:00am which I thought was a good time. Of course I never even considered the fact that we would be
traveling through the middle of downtown St. Louis during morning rush hour. So getting into Illinois, which would normally have
taken about 30 minutes, had this morning, taken us about an hour and a half. That's ok though, it just meant we had a little less time
to spend at Jennifer's house. We should have been to her house by 10:00am, however, we arrived at about 1:00pm. We ran into two
more sets of problems along the way. At one point there was a bad accident that brought traffic to a stand still. And a little further
down, the road was flooded. Of course, why wouldn't it have been flooded? After all we were traveling on it. Geesh!
We only stayed at Jenn's long enough for one cigarette and then had to quickly leave again to get to the airport in plenty of time
for him to check in. We had a nice time during this drive. We were quiet a lot of the time though, mostly thinking about everything
that had happened during his visit. By the time we got there, he only had about 30 minutes before he had to be at his gate. We went
outside and smoked a cigarette or two, all the while barely speaking. It was one of those times that if I spoke I would cry. So it was
easier just to stay quiet.
I wanted to wait about 15 more minutes before walking to the International check-in, but you know how prompt Marco is. If I had
made him wait he would have had an anxiety attack. I could tell he was already nervous about the thought of possibly not being
there on time. So as much as I didn't want to, I asked him if he just wanted to go ahead and go. He quietly said, "Yes, I think I
must." My tears didn't start falling until he gave me a hug and kiss good-bye. This was set up differently than the airport in Holland,
I couldn't walk up to the counter with him like he had done with me. So once we said our good-byes, I just stood there in the
distance watching him move through the line. After he got through, he turned around one time, smiled at me, and waved good-bye,
then walked away. I watched until I couldn't see him anymore, then left for my long, sad ride home. Continue
