First America Holiday (2)
    By the time we got back to my house it was almost midnight. Marco had been going non-stop for the past four hours after traveling for over 18 hours and still hadn't had a chance to stop and rest. So I wasn't surprised when he crashed on the couch as soon as he walked in. I was finally beginning to feel less apprehensive about this whole situation. I knew we had both been under a lot of stress being apart, so it was time to let it go and just enjoy this time together. We sat and talked for a little while, mostly going over the plans for the following day. He gave me a gift that his sister had sent.  A beautiful bracelet with matching necklace. Then he surprised me again by giving me a gift from him, a bottle of Coco Chanel. Wow, very nice! But very unnecessary. I felt guilty that I hadn't gotten anything for him. He quickly made friends with both my dogs, otherwise known as shithead1 and shithead2. And the fact that when he arrived I had about 200 dog biscuits and by the time he left to go home I had zero, I'm sure helped them love Marco even more! We didn't stay awake too long, we were both tired and had a long drive ahead of us. So after talking for a little while, we hit the hay.

     Before Marco had arrived, he told me everything that he wanted to do while he was here. I started referring to it as our Tour Of America. I had to literally make a calendar and map everything out, sometimes down to the hour, so that we would be able to do as much as possible. This was gonna be tough, but I had pretty much worked out all the kinks. We were beginning the holiday by driving to Florida so he could meet my Mom and UncleDad, go deep-sea fishing and do the Disneyworld thing.
     The drive would take about 13 hours, so we left my house around 8:00am. Unknown to Marco, we would be making a small pit stop along the way so he could meet some friends from chat. We had planned it for weeks as a surprise for him. After driving for about an hour, we were near the exit where they were meeting us. I told him I needed to go to the bathroom and wanted to get some coffee so we were gonna stop at the Waffle House up ahead. He said okee dokee. I saw Rhonda from the truck and almost started laughing. When we walked up to the door of the restaurant, there was a big colorful sign on it that read, "Welcome to America Marco!" I pointed to it and said, "Look honey, the sign says the bathroom is closed." He obviously didn't look, because he just said, "Oh" and continued walking. MEN! Now, he had only seen pictures of Dave and Rhonda on the computer, so unless he expected to see them, I knew there was no way in hell he would recognize either one of them.
     When we walked in, I saw Rhonda sitting by herself, with Dave and her Mom sitting in a booth. She motioned for me to go to the counter. So we stood at the counter and I ordered us both coffees. With that, out of the corner of my eye, I saw Rhonda walk up to Marco. The next thing I heard was her saying, "Excuse me Mr., would you lend me some money? I need to buy a bus ticket." I was about to crack up laughing, so I totally left Marco on his own and turned away. He said, "What?" So this time she said, "I need to buy a bus ticket and don't have any money. I'll give you a blow job if you give me some money!" Holy shit I was about to pee my pants from holding in my laughter! And her voice is nowhere close to being quiet, so everyone in the restaurant could hear what she was saying! I thought the guy sitting next to us at the counter was gonna fall right off his stool! hahaha Anyway, after she said that, all I heard was Marco saying, "I'm sorry, but I gave all my money to her" as he pointed his finger into me. I couldn't take it anymore, I was laughing so hard now. This poor guy, his first day in America and he has some stranger offering sexual favors for money! By the time I was able to turn around to tell him who it really was, Rhonda was asking him, "Not even for a Pookie?" (pookie is her chat nickname) He immediately got this total look of relief on his face when he figured out who she was!
     We were all laughing our asses off as we sat to join Dave and Rhonda's Mom. It was then that she informed me that she grabbed his ass both times as she asked him! Omy! hahaha Rhonda's Mother treated us all to breakfast, which was very nice of her. We had a great time as we sat there and talked about chat, his trip, and how we had planned this for so long. Poor Marco, I think he was still in shock! We stayed for about an hour, but then seriously had to get going so we would get to my Mom's house before midnight.
     The drive was long to say the least. I had told Marco that I would do all of the driving so that he could catch up on sleep that he had lost over the past 2 days. But after about 7 hours he still hadn't slept, so I decided that if he wasn't going to, I sure as hell wanted to! I kept asking him if he wanted to drive, and of course he kept saying no. I knew he was nervous about driving in a different country. But hell, if he could drive through England and Ireland then he would do fine here. I eventually got him to agree to drive the next time we stopped to get gas. I just kept watching that gas gauge hoping it would move faster!
     When we finally pulled over, I had to get out and call my Mom to find out the final set of directions. The directions she gave me just ended us on some highway, and I had no idea where to go from there. By this time I was hot, tired, and to say the least, very bitchy! Because it was so hot outside, Marco asked me to park the truck in the shade while I went to the pay phone. So as I stood there, in the middle of friggin hillbilly country (Mobile Alabama), in the 5000 friggin degree heat, with sweat pouring down my face, burning the hell out of my hands and ear by that Gawddamn hot as hell black phone that had been baking in the heat for days, I happened to look over to the truck and see Marco sitting there. Happy as could be, in the shade, with the windows rolled up and the air-conditioner on full blast, smoking a friggin cigarette. Something was definitely wrong with this picture!     
     When I was done on the phone I got back in the truck and started driving again. It was after about 5 minutes that I realized that HIS ass was supposed to be driving now! Hey! After my bitching and complaining didn't work, I finally just told him it was HIS turn to drive. I pulled off into a parking lot so he could get the feel of my clutch before getting back on the highway. After a few minutes he was ready to go.
     I swear to Gawd I had no idea where I was pulling off. We pulled off a highway into a parking lot. How was I supposed to know that within 500 feet the 4-lane highway that we had been driving for hours would turn into a 2-lane road with stoplights every 20 yards! hahaha I just sat there laughing as he drove us through some backwoods small town. I tried to explain to him that I had no idea that we would be going through small towns now. I believe he said, "yes, very funny .... ha ha." I just sat there smiling and thinking, "ahhh, sweet justice."
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