First Holland Holiday (3)
One thing I haven't mentioned yet, which I'm sure you are waiting for, are the legalized drugs in Holland. The only reason I'm
mentioning it now, is because at the table next to us, were 3 people so incredibly wasted that I sat there laughing at them the entire
time. Marco tried to explain it to me, and I'll see if I get this right, because it's kind of confusing. The drugs (marijuana, hash,
cocaine, exctasy, etc.) aren't exactly 'Legal'. They are however, monitored by the government. You may legally grow (produce) it in
your own home for personal use, with no consequences. But, if you are caught selling your homemade products to anyone, there are
serious penalties (fines and jailtime) more severe than in the States. So in essence, the coffee-shops are not legally allowed to sell
anything. But the government 'turns it's head', because when the drugs are sold through the shops, they are ensured to be purely what
they are supposed to be with no funky shit added to the 'recipes'. Which means they don't have people getting 'bad stuff' and dying on
a daily basis like we do here. It also means they don't have the druglords controlling situation, so innocent people aren't
killed/murdered in the process. I'm not saying that absolutely nothing bad happens where the drugs are involved, I'm just saying that
it happens a hell of a lot less than in the States. The main problem they have are the people that come to Holland, buy the drugs, and
try to smuggle them back into other countries. Needless to say, the other countries in Europe do not agree with Holland's ideology
on drugs. And yes, there are an abundance of easily accessed coffee-shops throughout the entire city. Through the country actually,
but heavily populated in Amsterdam itself. You can walk down any street and find them. They have advertisements painted on their
windows, telling you not only what they sell, but what brands. If you wanted to buy marijuana, you can't just walk in and say, "I want
to buy it." You have to choose which type from a large selection displayed. It's kind of like choosing which pack of cigarettes you
want to purchase. Another thing, you may smoke/use whatever it is right there in the coffee house itself. They have areas (just like
we have smoking/no smoking sections in restaurants) where it is and is not allowed. But you are not allowed to use it out on a public
street.
Marco only had to go into work one day while I was there, the rest of the time he was free. This one day however will forever be
known as "The day of the cheese incident". When I woke up, he was already gone. I got up, made some coffee, grabbed my cigarettes,
and sat down at the computer. I had planned on sitting my ass there and not moving for the entire day. So when I opened my
cigarettes and saw that I only had 2 left (thank you Mr. Marco for smoking them all! hahaha) I was a little freaked. OhMyGawd,
there was no way in hell 2 cigarettes would last me 8 hours. I hadn't gone anywhere in his town yet. I knew where nothing was, and
even if I did, I still didn't know how to use the Dutch currency. Marco, Conny, and Jan were all at work. Damnit, now my day was
shot to hell. I played in chat for a while and smoked up my only 2 cigarettes. Nope, I wasn't gonna make it, I needed nicotine, and I
needed it now. Marco rolls his own cigarettes and leaves the stuff (spilled tobacco and papers) lying all over the place. I just
figured, hey he does it, looks easy enough, so I'll just make one of his. Ok well, after the one that I made literally caught fire and
dropped into the ashtray, I decided that plan wouldn't work. So it was time for plan B. I'll just eat instead. However, when I opened
the fridge, there was nothing in there. Well hell. Everything was labeled in Dutch, so I had no clue what anything was. I saw what
looked like a large stick of butter and I knew there was a little piece of bread in the cabinet, so I decided to just have bread n butter.
Hmmm, well don't ever believe what you see. This butter, as I thought it was, ended up being some kind of cooking lard. After that, I
decided not to experiment anymore and gave up on my food hunt. I went back into chat just bitching up a storm that I was left here
to fend for myself with no cigs and no food. hahaha
After a little while Marco logged into IM from his work. After listening to me whine and pout for a while, he told me to just go the
store and buy some cigarettes. Me? Go by myself? What the hell, is he nuts? He told me how to get to the store and what money to
use. After figuring out that he was not going to come home and buy them for me, I pretty much had no choice but to go myself. But
first, there was a little matter of hunger to deal with. He said there was some ham and cheese in the fridge (apparently I hadn't seen
it), but that I would pass by a deli on my way to get cigs, so I could stop in there and get something to eat. He had to get back to
work and logged off of IM.
I went to the fridge and found the ham and cheese. The ham looked normal enough, it was round and looked just a little different.
But I was hungry and would eat it anyway. The cheese kind of looked like Swiss cheese, long and rectangular. Both of them had been
left in open packages and being as picky as I am, I of course threw away the top piece of both. Well, the cheese HAD to have the top
piece thrown away, it was all hard from being left open. Anyway, I took a bite of the cheese - ok ewww! I don't know what the fukk
kind of cheese this was, but it tasted like dirty feet! It was so disgusting in fact, that I lost my appetite. But obviously Marco liked it
or he wouldn't have bought it. So I thought I would be nice and wrap it up for him. (Ok, here it comes, apparently the biggest
mistake I ever could have made.) Because the cheese was so long it wouldn't fit into a ziplock baggie. So I simply broke it in half
and put the halves on top of each other. Then I went to the cabinet to get a baggie. Ummm, no baggies. Ok, I'll just get aluminum
foil or saran wrap. Again, no luck. There was absolutely nothing to wrap this cheese or ham in. Oh well, I tried. So I just placed
them back into the fridge unwrapped.
I left to go to the store, scared shitless, but I had to have nicotine. I found the store he told me about (I think). It had cigarettes in
it, so that's all I cared about. I was the only one standing at the counter, so they of course were waiting for me to speak. I quickly
looked and saw not one brand of cigarettes that I recognized. Since menthol is almost always in a green package, I chose to go with
a brand called Belinda. I pointed to the cigs, said, "Two" (holding up 2 fingers) and said, "Belinda." The guy said something in
Dutch, which I didn't understand, but I nodded my head anyway. He handed me the cigs, I paid, and I was on my way. Phew, that
wasn't so hard. I saw the deli that Marco mentioned, but since everything in the window was labeled in Dutch, I figured I could do
without food until he got home, and continued back.
It was about 11am by this time and I was bored. So again, I decided to be nice and clean the house. I cleaned everything! I dusted
anything I could get my hands on, vacuumed, straightened up counters, shelves, closets, everything. I worked my booty off, but was
happy to do it. When I was finished (after working for about 4 hours) I took a shower and sat on the couch to watch tv. Within 5
minutes of me sitting, Marco came home. Mr. Funny pants walked in and said, "OhMyGawd, I go to work all day and you have sat
there doing nothing!" What!? I went over, took him by the hand, and showed him everything that I had done all damn day. I MADE
him look at every corner, every book, every shelf, everything! I'll be damned if I was gonna work my ass off, only to have him say
that I sat around doing nothing! hahaha Continue
mentioning it now, is because at the table next to us, were 3 people so incredibly wasted that I sat there laughing at them the entire
time. Marco tried to explain it to me, and I'll see if I get this right, because it's kind of confusing. The drugs (marijuana, hash,
cocaine, exctasy, etc.) aren't exactly 'Legal'. They are however, monitored by the government. You may legally grow (produce) it in
your own home for personal use, with no consequences. But, if you are caught selling your homemade products to anyone, there are
serious penalties (fines and jailtime) more severe than in the States. So in essence, the coffee-shops are not legally allowed to sell
anything. But the government 'turns it's head', because when the drugs are sold through the shops, they are ensured to be purely what
they are supposed to be with no funky shit added to the 'recipes'. Which means they don't have people getting 'bad stuff' and dying on
a daily basis like we do here. It also means they don't have the druglords controlling situation, so innocent people aren't
killed/murdered in the process. I'm not saying that absolutely nothing bad happens where the drugs are involved, I'm just saying that
it happens a hell of a lot less than in the States. The main problem they have are the people that come to Holland, buy the drugs, and
try to smuggle them back into other countries. Needless to say, the other countries in Europe do not agree with Holland's ideology
on drugs. And yes, there are an abundance of easily accessed coffee-shops throughout the entire city. Through the country actually,
but heavily populated in Amsterdam itself. You can walk down any street and find them. They have advertisements painted on their
windows, telling you not only what they sell, but what brands. If you wanted to buy marijuana, you can't just walk in and say, "I want
to buy it." You have to choose which type from a large selection displayed. It's kind of like choosing which pack of cigarettes you
want to purchase. Another thing, you may smoke/use whatever it is right there in the coffee house itself. They have areas (just like
we have smoking/no smoking sections in restaurants) where it is and is not allowed. But you are not allowed to use it out on a public
street.
Marco only had to go into work one day while I was there, the rest of the time he was free. This one day however will forever be
known as "The day of the cheese incident". When I woke up, he was already gone. I got up, made some coffee, grabbed my cigarettes,
and sat down at the computer. I had planned on sitting my ass there and not moving for the entire day. So when I opened my
cigarettes and saw that I only had 2 left (thank you Mr. Marco for smoking them all! hahaha) I was a little freaked. OhMyGawd,
there was no way in hell 2 cigarettes would last me 8 hours. I hadn't gone anywhere in his town yet. I knew where nothing was, and
even if I did, I still didn't know how to use the Dutch currency. Marco, Conny, and Jan were all at work. Damnit, now my day was
shot to hell. I played in chat for a while and smoked up my only 2 cigarettes. Nope, I wasn't gonna make it, I needed nicotine, and I
needed it now. Marco rolls his own cigarettes and leaves the stuff (spilled tobacco and papers) lying all over the place. I just
figured, hey he does it, looks easy enough, so I'll just make one of his. Ok well, after the one that I made literally caught fire and
dropped into the ashtray, I decided that plan wouldn't work. So it was time for plan B. I'll just eat instead. However, when I opened
the fridge, there was nothing in there. Well hell. Everything was labeled in Dutch, so I had no clue what anything was. I saw what
looked like a large stick of butter and I knew there was a little piece of bread in the cabinet, so I decided to just have bread n butter.
Hmmm, well don't ever believe what you see. This butter, as I thought it was, ended up being some kind of cooking lard. After that, I
decided not to experiment anymore and gave up on my food hunt. I went back into chat just bitching up a storm that I was left here
to fend for myself with no cigs and no food. hahaha
After a little while Marco logged into IM from his work. After listening to me whine and pout for a while, he told me to just go the
store and buy some cigarettes. Me? Go by myself? What the hell, is he nuts? He told me how to get to the store and what money to
use. After figuring out that he was not going to come home and buy them for me, I pretty much had no choice but to go myself. But
first, there was a little matter of hunger to deal with. He said there was some ham and cheese in the fridge (apparently I hadn't seen
it), but that I would pass by a deli on my way to get cigs, so I could stop in there and get something to eat. He had to get back to
work and logged off of IM.
I went to the fridge and found the ham and cheese. The ham looked normal enough, it was round and looked just a little different.
But I was hungry and would eat it anyway. The cheese kind of looked like Swiss cheese, long and rectangular. Both of them had been
left in open packages and being as picky as I am, I of course threw away the top piece of both. Well, the cheese HAD to have the top
piece thrown away, it was all hard from being left open. Anyway, I took a bite of the cheese - ok ewww! I don't know what the fukk
kind of cheese this was, but it tasted like dirty feet! It was so disgusting in fact, that I lost my appetite. But obviously Marco liked it
or he wouldn't have bought it. So I thought I would be nice and wrap it up for him. (Ok, here it comes, apparently the biggest
mistake I ever could have made.) Because the cheese was so long it wouldn't fit into a ziplock baggie. So I simply broke it in half
and put the halves on top of each other. Then I went to the cabinet to get a baggie. Ummm, no baggies. Ok, I'll just get aluminum
foil or saran wrap. Again, no luck. There was absolutely nothing to wrap this cheese or ham in. Oh well, I tried. So I just placed
them back into the fridge unwrapped.
I left to go to the store, scared shitless, but I had to have nicotine. I found the store he told me about (I think). It had cigarettes in
it, so that's all I cared about. I was the only one standing at the counter, so they of course were waiting for me to speak. I quickly
looked and saw not one brand of cigarettes that I recognized. Since menthol is almost always in a green package, I chose to go with
a brand called Belinda. I pointed to the cigs, said, "Two" (holding up 2 fingers) and said, "Belinda." The guy said something in
Dutch, which I didn't understand, but I nodded my head anyway. He handed me the cigs, I paid, and I was on my way. Phew, that
wasn't so hard. I saw the deli that Marco mentioned, but since everything in the window was labeled in Dutch, I figured I could do
without food until he got home, and continued back.
It was about 11am by this time and I was bored. So again, I decided to be nice and clean the house. I cleaned everything! I dusted
anything I could get my hands on, vacuumed, straightened up counters, shelves, closets, everything. I worked my booty off, but was
happy to do it. When I was finished (after working for about 4 hours) I took a shower and sat on the couch to watch tv. Within 5
minutes of me sitting, Marco came home. Mr. Funny pants walked in and said, "OhMyGawd, I go to work all day and you have sat
there doing nothing!" What!? I went over, took him by the hand, and showed him everything that I had done all damn day. I MADE
him look at every corner, every book, every shelf, everything! I'll be damned if I was gonna work my ass off, only to have him say
that I sat around doing nothing! hahaha Continue
