| First Ireland Holiday (5) |
It was displayed on the plate very nicely. The crabtoes were in the middle, surrounded by a colorful salad and vegetables. I don't
do vegetables so I didn't even take a bite of them. But salad is another thing I will eat anyplace I go, so again I thought I was safe. I
decided to wait on the crabtoes and eat the salad first. However, I am used to salad being cold and crispy. This was hot and soggy
and smothered in butter rather than dressing. So after one bite, the salad sat untouched. I decided to be brave and just taste the
crabtoes. If I didn't like them, then Marco would have spent a lot of money for me to just look at a plate full of food. Well, they may
have looked funky, but they tasted delicious! I ended up ordering fries as well, since I wasn't gonna eat anything else that came with
the dinner. So all in all, my first true meal of crabtoes and fries was awesome.
When we were done with dinner, we went to the bar and stayed until it was just about closing time. My glasses of whiskey and
lemonade were being drunk in about 5 minutes each. Marco just kept laughing at me as he ordered me more. But once again, it was
helping to take the edge off of being uncomfortable. I had a great time with him while we were eating, we talked non-stop. But once
we got to the bar, he was back to being quiet.
The next day we were going to watch a soccer game with his friends from the pub. We arrived at the pub to follow everyone else
to the other town where they game was being played. We were met by Con and another man. They said they were gonna ride with
us, which was fine, except that Marco had the back seat of his car down and the entire thing filled with fishing shit. Before Marco
could say anything, the other guy opened up the hatchback of the car, and climbed in, lying there all curled up in a ball. hahaha
OhMyGawd, who was this guy? He was about 6'3" and funny as hell as he laid there in a fetal position, saying, "Ok Marco I'm set,
let's go!" Marco laughed and told me this was his other friend Jerry. There is a very easy way to describe Jerry. Picture Kramer,
from the Seinfeld show, with an Irish accent and a beer constantly in his hand. There is no other way to describe him. He IS the
Irish Kramer!
Once Marco was able to get him out of his car, they all emptied the car, put the stuff in the pub, and put the seat back up so they
could ride like normal human beings. The ride to the game was quite an experience. They were all speaking English, but I had no
friggin idea what the hell they were saying! Every once in a while I was able to catch a word or two of what Con was saying. But
Jerry? Forget about it! They were funny as hell together though. Constantly fighting, like brothers. At one point Jerry asked me a
question. Shit, I didn't know what he said. After saying, "What?" like 4 times, I finally asked Marco what he was asking me. Marco
just laughed and quietly said, "I have no idea!" Con finally said, "She can't understand you ya bloody fukk! Open your mouth when
you talk!" and translated for me. I just sat there laughing my ass off, hoping to Gawd that he didn't talk directly to me again!
The highlight of the game was most definitely Jerry the water boy. The rest of the time, I just stood there as Marco walked the
sidelines taking pictures. It's hard to explain how it felt. It's kind of like those nightmares where you are on a stage or something,
and expected to perform. Yet you've never been to a rehearsal or even seen the script. But, I knew this was all new for him as well,
so I was giving him the benefit of the doubt and not getting upset. After all, unless I told him how I felt, he would have no way of
knowing, because I always had a smile on my face.
During the game, Jerry's only job was to bring water to the players when they needed it. So as I watched him sitting on the
sidelines drinking the water non-stop, I was wondering how long it was gonna last. He only had 3 bottles, and we were in the
middle of a field with no concession stand or bathrooms or anything. The first time they had a time out called, the players yelled for
him to hurry and bring them water. Now once again, picture Kramer in your mind. He sat there as they yelled for him, and then told
them to bloody shut up, he was coming. Then complained that he was comfortable where he was. hahaha But, he got up, and slowly
walked out to the players, all the while he was walking, drinking the water himself. While he was out there, he started talking to
them. By the time the whistle was blown for the second time, and he still hadn't walked off the field, the ref had to come tell him to
leave. He started following the ref as he walked away, saying, "Hey ref, you want some water?" hahaha eventually he made it off the
field and they continued playing.
Now however, the water was gone and they had a long time to still play. And since he had drunk most of it, they told him it was
his job to go find some more. Instead of walking down the street to a pub, he chose to go knock on the doors of very nice homes that
were nearby. He came back, waterless, saying, "They closed the door on my face!" He said, "I don't know why. When they opened
the door I held out the bottles and said, I need water! Then they told me to go away and closed the door." They told him NOT to go
to the houses, those people would probably have him arrested! And sent him on his way again. A while later he showed up with
more water.
After the game we all went to a pub down the street. Believe it or not, Jerry really is quite intelligent. He just acts like a bafoon.
We sat for a long time talking about his visit to the States and what it was like. I was still barely able to understand what he was
saying, especially now that he was drinking, but I picked up enough bits and pieces to carry on a conversation. As long as other
people were talking directly to me, Marco would join in. But any time my conversation with them stopped, so did mine and his. I
decided to give it one more night, and if it didn't change, then I would say something to him about how it was making me feel.
During the drive back to town after the pub, was probably the hardest I laughed the entire time I was there. Marco was driving
about 40 mph as I sat in the front seat, and Jerry and Con were in the back seat. We drove over a bridge that had a huge dip and
then hill at the end of it. We hit the hill and went airborne! OhMyGawd! I was gonna die! We were only in the air for about 3 or 4
seconds, but it seemed like a lot longer. I couldn't even scream, I was totally frozen. When we came crashing down, the entire car
bounced like 3 times. Not little bounces. Big, hard bounces. We were facing a different direction each time it hit the road. My head
smashed into the ceiling and then the window and then had my body thrown into the dashboard. Amazingly enough, none of us were
hurt and Marco never stopped, he just kept on driving! By the time we were going straight again, I screamed, "Oh my fukkin Gawd
MARCO!" and then laughed my ass off. He was too busy making the sign of the cross and saying some Latin prayer thing that he
always says.
But the funniest part was when I looked in the back seat. All I saw was Con laughing and Jerry's legs sticking straight up in the
air. His body nowhere to be seen. That long body of his had totally flipped upside down while we were flying and bouncing! I
couldn't stop laughing because the entire time he was trying to sit upright again, he was cussing out Marco. When he finally sat up,
I saw tobacco all over his hair and face and on the roof of the car. He had been in the middle of rolling a cigarette when it
happened. OhMyGawd, I was gonna pee my pants from laughing so hard at the sight of him! We spent the remainder of the car ride
laughing at what just happened. Continue
do vegetables so I didn't even take a bite of them. But salad is another thing I will eat anyplace I go, so again I thought I was safe. I
decided to wait on the crabtoes and eat the salad first. However, I am used to salad being cold and crispy. This was hot and soggy
and smothered in butter rather than dressing. So after one bite, the salad sat untouched. I decided to be brave and just taste the
crabtoes. If I didn't like them, then Marco would have spent a lot of money for me to just look at a plate full of food. Well, they may
have looked funky, but they tasted delicious! I ended up ordering fries as well, since I wasn't gonna eat anything else that came with
the dinner. So all in all, my first true meal of crabtoes and fries was awesome.
When we were done with dinner, we went to the bar and stayed until it was just about closing time. My glasses of whiskey and
lemonade were being drunk in about 5 minutes each. Marco just kept laughing at me as he ordered me more. But once again, it was
helping to take the edge off of being uncomfortable. I had a great time with him while we were eating, we talked non-stop. But once
we got to the bar, he was back to being quiet.
The next day we were going to watch a soccer game with his friends from the pub. We arrived at the pub to follow everyone else
to the other town where they game was being played. We were met by Con and another man. They said they were gonna ride with
us, which was fine, except that Marco had the back seat of his car down and the entire thing filled with fishing shit. Before Marco
could say anything, the other guy opened up the hatchback of the car, and climbed in, lying there all curled up in a ball. hahaha
OhMyGawd, who was this guy? He was about 6'3" and funny as hell as he laid there in a fetal position, saying, "Ok Marco I'm set,
let's go!" Marco laughed and told me this was his other friend Jerry. There is a very easy way to describe Jerry. Picture Kramer,
from the Seinfeld show, with an Irish accent and a beer constantly in his hand. There is no other way to describe him. He IS the
Irish Kramer!
Once Marco was able to get him out of his car, they all emptied the car, put the stuff in the pub, and put the seat back up so they
could ride like normal human beings. The ride to the game was quite an experience. They were all speaking English, but I had no
friggin idea what the hell they were saying! Every once in a while I was able to catch a word or two of what Con was saying. But
Jerry? Forget about it! They were funny as hell together though. Constantly fighting, like brothers. At one point Jerry asked me a
question. Shit, I didn't know what he said. After saying, "What?" like 4 times, I finally asked Marco what he was asking me. Marco
just laughed and quietly said, "I have no idea!" Con finally said, "She can't understand you ya bloody fukk! Open your mouth when
you talk!" and translated for me. I just sat there laughing my ass off, hoping to Gawd that he didn't talk directly to me again!
The highlight of the game was most definitely Jerry the water boy. The rest of the time, I just stood there as Marco walked the
sidelines taking pictures. It's hard to explain how it felt. It's kind of like those nightmares where you are on a stage or something,
and expected to perform. Yet you've never been to a rehearsal or even seen the script. But, I knew this was all new for him as well,
so I was giving him the benefit of the doubt and not getting upset. After all, unless I told him how I felt, he would have no way of
knowing, because I always had a smile on my face.
During the game, Jerry's only job was to bring water to the players when they needed it. So as I watched him sitting on the
sidelines drinking the water non-stop, I was wondering how long it was gonna last. He only had 3 bottles, and we were in the
middle of a field with no concession stand or bathrooms or anything. The first time they had a time out called, the players yelled for
him to hurry and bring them water. Now once again, picture Kramer in your mind. He sat there as they yelled for him, and then told
them to bloody shut up, he was coming. Then complained that he was comfortable where he was. hahaha But, he got up, and slowly
walked out to the players, all the while he was walking, drinking the water himself. While he was out there, he started talking to
them. By the time the whistle was blown for the second time, and he still hadn't walked off the field, the ref had to come tell him to
leave. He started following the ref as he walked away, saying, "Hey ref, you want some water?" hahaha eventually he made it off the
field and they continued playing.
Now however, the water was gone and they had a long time to still play. And since he had drunk most of it, they told him it was
his job to go find some more. Instead of walking down the street to a pub, he chose to go knock on the doors of very nice homes that
were nearby. He came back, waterless, saying, "They closed the door on my face!" He said, "I don't know why. When they opened
the door I held out the bottles and said, I need water! Then they told me to go away and closed the door." They told him NOT to go
to the houses, those people would probably have him arrested! And sent him on his way again. A while later he showed up with
more water.
After the game we all went to a pub down the street. Believe it or not, Jerry really is quite intelligent. He just acts like a bafoon.
We sat for a long time talking about his visit to the States and what it was like. I was still barely able to understand what he was
saying, especially now that he was drinking, but I picked up enough bits and pieces to carry on a conversation. As long as other
people were talking directly to me, Marco would join in. But any time my conversation with them stopped, so did mine and his. I
decided to give it one more night, and if it didn't change, then I would say something to him about how it was making me feel.
During the drive back to town after the pub, was probably the hardest I laughed the entire time I was there. Marco was driving
about 40 mph as I sat in the front seat, and Jerry and Con were in the back seat. We drove over a bridge that had a huge dip and
then hill at the end of it. We hit the hill and went airborne! OhMyGawd! I was gonna die! We were only in the air for about 3 or 4
seconds, but it seemed like a lot longer. I couldn't even scream, I was totally frozen. When we came crashing down, the entire car
bounced like 3 times. Not little bounces. Big, hard bounces. We were facing a different direction each time it hit the road. My head
smashed into the ceiling and then the window and then had my body thrown into the dashboard. Amazingly enough, none of us were
hurt and Marco never stopped, he just kept on driving! By the time we were going straight again, I screamed, "Oh my fukkin Gawd
MARCO!" and then laughed my ass off. He was too busy making the sign of the cross and saying some Latin prayer thing that he
always says.
But the funniest part was when I looked in the back seat. All I saw was Con laughing and Jerry's legs sticking straight up in the
air. His body nowhere to be seen. That long body of his had totally flipped upside down while we were flying and bouncing! I
couldn't stop laughing because the entire time he was trying to sit upright again, he was cussing out Marco. When he finally sat up,
I saw tobacco all over his hair and face and on the roof of the car. He had been in the middle of rolling a cigarette when it
happened. OhMyGawd, I was gonna pee my pants from laughing so hard at the sight of him! We spent the remainder of the car ride
laughing at what just happened. Continue
